What is Communication?

Communication is the process of exchanging information, ideas, thoughts and feelings between a sender and one or more than one receiver. It involves both speaking and listening but unfortunately some people think of it as speaking only.

The 4 Key Stages of Communication

Communication between a sender and receiver(s) has four stages:

1. What sender wants to say: Communication begins when someone wants to say something. They think of sharing their thoughts, ideas, feelings or information with someone.
2. What the sender says: Sometimes what happens is we are not able to pick the correct words to communicate or message. Have your ever used this phrase: “I didn’t mean to say that.” Yes, we all have used this phrase, which proves that sometimes we all fail to choose the correct words. We should try our best to choose the correct words to communicate our message.
3. What receiver hears: The receiver(s) hears what the sender says. The receiver not only hear the words but also the tone and body language of the speaker/sender.
4. What the receiver understands/interprets: This is the most important stage of communication. What happens most of the time is the sender’s message is filtered through the receiver’s perceptions, biases and judgments. In this way, the receiver may not understand what the sender intended to say and hence the message gets misunderstood.

You need to ensure that when you speak or write, you communicate as effectively as possible, speak exactly what you want others to understand. You need to make sure the messages you send are clear despite language, culture, time and place differences.

What Makes Communication Effective?

Understanding is the basis of effective communication.  Effective communication is where both parties can share their ideas, thoughts and feelings freely and understand each other. Communication is effective when the message sent by the sender is interpreted with the same meaning by the receiver. When the message received has the impact that you intended to, then you have communicated effectively.

Communication isn’t just about the words being spoken, there is paraverbal communication, which is about how you say things: your tone, speed, pitch and volume. Then there is nonverbal communication, which is about the gestures and body language that accompany your words.

Three Elements of Effective Communication

According to psychologist Albert Mehrabian, when communicating feelings or attitudes, 7% of the message is conveyed through words, 38% through tone, and 55% through body language. However, this doesn’t apply to all communication contexts.

1. The words you use: The words that we use should clearly state what we want to say without any ambiguity. Words occupy 7% of the communication.
2. Your tone and Pace: Your tone and pace contribute 38% of the communication. It is about how you say things. The way you speak reflects how you feel. Conflicts happen because of how you say things not what you say. You should focus on intonation when you speak. Raising or lowering your voice and pausing adds emphasis to an idea.
3. Your body language: 55% of the total communication is body language. You want your words, tone and pace to match your body language. Here are a few tips to maintain a good body language:
4. Maintain eye contact.
5. Maintain your facial expressions.
6. Avoid doing things that distract your audience like clicking a pen, playing with a marker etc.
7. Use hand gestures.
8. Use open body language

How to Improve Your Virtual Communication Skills

1. Speak clearly.
2. Use emoticons.
3. Use phrases that describe your feelings and intentions.
4. Address the other person by their name.
5. Listen without interrupting.

Mastering the Art of Listening

Have a look at a very famous quote from Peter Drucker: “The most important thing in communication to hear what isn’t being said.”

Sending messages is certainly an important part of communication, but effective communication also requires a receiver, a listener. Listening is not as easy as it sounds, it depends on many factors that can distort the message. Listening requires concentration, empathy and willingness to consider other points of view which is a difficult task, especially with different situations and distractions.

How to Become a Better Listener with Active Listening Techniques

1. Give your full attention to the speaker.
2. Set aside your internal commentary to understand the message.
3. Pay attention to non-verbal messages.
4. Focus on total message.
5. Use empathy.
6. Be non-judgmental.
7. Reflect on words as well as feelings.
8. Ask relevant questions.
9. Clarify your understanding of the message.

Communication Barriers you should avoid:

1. Focus on what is being said, not who is saying.
2. Try to listen and put aside any personal motives, interests, question your perception and then formulate your reply.
3. When you are listening for too long, try to step back and look for the key points that are being conveyed.
4. Minimize external distractions like phone notifications or side conversations.
5. Make a conscious effort to quiet your emotional reactions so that you can listen properly.

How to Improve Your Communication Skills

People perceive you not only through what you say, but also through nonverbal cues so it is important to behave in a manner that generates trust and respect.

You need to be aware of your personal impact, the effect you have during your interactions with co-workers and clients. Things you do and say affect people around you. If you are not careful, your words and actions can have unintended or unexcepted consequences. People who behave assertively demonstrates the following:

1. They are honest and clear with their views.
2. Encourage people to share their views.
3. They believe their rights should not be denied but they will not pursue those rights at the expense of others.
4. Speak calmly with no fear of not being heard.
5. Rarely feel the need to interrupt others and are in firm control of their emotions.
6. They disagree with someone without upsetting them.
7. They ask for help when they feel the need.
8. They know when and how to say no.

Assertive vs Aggressive Communication

Both assertive and aggressive communication involves stating your needs, but the difference lies in the way you do it. The key to communicating assertively is to express your feelings, thoughts, beliefs and opinions in an open manner that respects the rights of others, in addition to yourself. 

People do what they believe is in their best interest. It is important for you to look at a situation from the other person’s perspective and understand the impact of the situation on that person. If you can do this, you will be better equipped to exert personal influence. You can’t change someone’s mind unless you know where their mind is.

You can use both facts and emotions to influence others. Emotions appeal to a person’s sense of comfort and well-being and influence behavior. Facts appeal to a person’s logic and rationality.

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Frequently Asked Questions