Love marriage is very common these days but unfortunately, the number of successful love marriages is very small. Divorce has become as common as breakup, especially in the celebrity world, like the divorce case of Hardik Pandya. But do you ever wonder about the reasons why love marriages fail?
Mignon McLaughlin once stated: “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
Why is there a sudden increase in divorce rate in the world, especially in India where Marriage is rated so high? If not, let’s dive deep into this and explore
Top 7 Factors Behind the Failure of Love Marriages
1. Wrong Idea of Love:
The idea of love that this modern generation has is one of the biggest reasons why love marriages fail. They feel love is all roses.People feel it is only about the feelings that they feel for someone. If you also feel so, I have bad news for you. Research shows that on average, those feelings generally expire after 13 months. And when these feelings expire, people feel that love isn’t there anymore because for them, love was the feeling they were feeling, and feelings are bound to expire after some time.The Solution:
I really hope that this generation realizes that:
- Love is less about the feelings that you feel but more about the decisions that you take, the decision to be with the same person every single day, even on the days when you don’t even want to see their face.
- Love is not only about the comfort that you get, but also about the uncomfortable conversations that you make.
- Love is not only about the laughter/smile you share together, but also about the tears you shed together. Someone you can laugh freely with is your friend, someone you can cry freely with is your partner.
Being a relationship coach, I can talk about love all day long, but I guess this much would be enough.
2. Comparison is the thief of Joy:
Comparison is robbing us of our beautiful married live and it is one of the main reasons why love marriages fail. People compare their married life with someone else’s and feel their partner isn’t a good one. We must understand that there is no perfect partner, and there is no perfect relationship. Perfection is an illusion. Every couple fight, every couple argue. The problem is “We tend to compare our bad times with someone else’s good times.” When your relationship goes down, don’t go out and compare your marriage with someone else’s because it is the worst time to compare, as you are focused on what’s missing in your life rather than what you have. This is the point where extra marital affairs usually start.The Solution:
- Never compare your life with someone else.
3. Influence of Social Media or Celebrities:
With free access to the Internet and social media, we have access to the whole world at our fingertips. Everyone has their own views and perspectives about love, marriage and an Ideal partner, and sometimes we are so influenced by someone that we think whatever they say is right for us as. We let them define our lives. We must understand that we are all unique, someone’s ideal partner can be your worst partner and vice versa. Please put a filter in your mind and don’t take anyone’s word without thinking if they fit into your life or not. The Solution:
- Do not let someone else define your life for you, use your own brain.
4. Unrealistic expectations ruin a good relationship:
Unrealistic expectations are one of the top reasons why love marriages fail. People enter a marriage with some unrealistic expectations like the spark will always be there or they will always feel those butterfly feelings. They think that if they marry a partner of their choice, life will be a bed of roses. We need to understand that it doesn’t matter whom you marry, you will have to face the same challenges, love marriage also faces challenges, the only thing that differs is that a good partner will make those challenges easy. How to handle this:
- Communicate your expectations regularly.
5.Overdependency is a burden:
Another major reason why love marriages fail. Sometimes a partner becomes so dependent on the other one that they feel burdened. We need to understand that we all have a personal life, and everyone’s life is full of challenges. The worst thing you can do for your partner is to be a burden for them. For a happy married life, if you cannot help your partner in any area, then at least don’t add to their problems. Be their support system. A happy married life is where both partners take care of themselves and be each other’s support system. The Solution:
- Create your happiness on your ownand then add to each other’s happiness.
6. Entertaining Third Party:
When our married life goes down, we tend to seek someone else’s attention. When you entertain someone else, it is easy to feel connected to them because you are focusing on your partner’s flaws at that time. Let’s suppose your partner has 7/10 qualities that you wanted (which is great to be honest), it is easy to feel attracted to someone who has the 3 missing qualities but remember no one is a 10/10 baddie. The solution:
- Do not share your problems with someone else other than your partner.Not everyone is your well wisher.
- Sit with your partner and sort out your issues. Every problem is solvable.
7. Lack of willingness to Adapt/adjust:
Married life is all about adjustments. No two human beings are the same. If two humans are living together, they must adjust and adapt themselves according to each other, there is no escape from it. Even the most compatible partners have to adjust. But there is a thin line between compromising and adjusting, you must adjust but you should not compromise. Two adjusting partners go a long way. The Solution:
- Every relationship can work if both parties are willing to work. Remember, the problem is your problem, your partner is not your problem.
Conclusion:
This list can continue to go on because there are as many reasons of love marriages failure as there are reasons of death, countless. We only discussed top reasons of why love marriages fail. If I missed any major reason, please post a comment on this blog or text me personally anywhere. I will be more than happy.
Every marriage faces challenges but if both partners are willing to make a relationship or marriage work, it will work for sure. Don’t be afraid of love marriage, be afraid of picking a wrong partner. Marriage is the most important decision you take in your life. For a quick guide on 3 important rules of dating, visit my Instagram account and you will see 3 pinned videos describing those rules.
All the best everyone for your love life, see you soon!
You Can Read More: Why Do Modern-Day Relationships fail?
Frequently Asked Questions
None is better than the other. The success of a marriage, whether arranged or love, depends on the partners. As long as they are willing to work on their marriage and make it work, it will work. It doesn’t matter whether you go for a love marriage or an arranged one, you will need to work on yourself and your marriage to make it a successful marriage.
Research shows that arranged marriages have lower divorce rates, but things are changing rapidly now. Whether it’s a love marriage or an arranged one, both partners must work hard to make it work.
You must keep the above discussed factors and their solutions in mind. Work every day on your marriage. And if things go out of your hands, seek professional help.
The most important requirement to fix a loveless marriage is the willingness of both the partners to repair it. If both partners decide to fix a loveless marriage, then it can be repaired easily. You need to start your relationship from scratch, get to know each other again, communicate your needs and expectations, build understanding again, and if necessary, seek professional help.
